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Is it okay to love, too? In the shaking night [entries|friends|calendar]

b a s i c s

明 16 . nightmare fan . dir fan . malice mizer fan . PLC fan . HIM fan . married to ben-ben . maryland . kendo . bisexual . hazel eyes . black hair . pansexual . revolutionary girl utena . anne rice fan . dragon/scorpio . more?

f a v o r i t e s

band: dir en grey
color: periwinkle
movie: attack the gas station!
manga: sensual phrase
anime: revolutionary girl utena
j-rocker: kana
song: the final by dir en grey
food: pizza
drink: mango soda

w h o   d i s ?

version 1 of masochist kiss features hitsugi, the guitarist of nightmare. image from blue neurose. programs used were: microsoft picture it!, adobe photoshop 7.0 and ms paint.

j o i n e d   &   l i s t e d

x o x o   l i n k a g e

&room 304;

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[17 Feb 2006|05:25pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I really hate to do this, but this is going to have to be done. I never wanted to make this journal something like this. But now it has gone too far.

This Journal is Now FRIENDS ONLY

Because of run ins with some stuff that has been going on with the public access of this journal being violated by people I thought were nice we are going to have to change the rules about here.

Now here are the Rules! [Yes i hate to have rules but this is how we are going to do this]

-If you're name is John or will then go eat shit and die, kthanxs bye ^^; Because I really can not put up with your crap any longer.

-Don't be a person who all you talk about is pot all damn day long and how cool it is, you will not be welcomed here.

-Don't talk all like "Wtbdohvdknvp like omg! It was 2 coo to even imagine." or whatever the fuck people who use sticky caps and all that is like [yes, we all have used them in the past but now its time to grow up. Stuff will be tolerated like nullspace is cute, you are not. ^_^]

-Don't be an ass. I hate people like that. [Not that i should be TURNING away friends, just saying]

Basically I will friend anyone I think is worthy of friending which means anyone who friends me will most likely get friended back ^^; Unless you're from my school [except for Anthy <3] So just ask to be added if you want to or whatever and you will be added!
<3 thank you.

-Le K-chan [Kate, snicker doodle, katier bug, katiers with a button nose, katiekans...etc.]

Oh an dif you want to know more about me, check out my info and learn more about me!
13 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

I'm so sorry [19 Feb 2005|12:22am]
I don't want to question you, no, never.

I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do. I am so hurt by the things I heard were going on behind my back. I just want people to like me and they don't! And I can't ask why.
2 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Dear friend of my upmost affection. [18 Feb 2005|06:58pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

I hate to say this, but you have been acting much more immature then before lately. You have taken things out of contex which hold no meaning to them what is know for. What a culture is grown up as knowing. I hate to act this way but you don't understand you are harming HIM more then he had harmed you.

He came to me and explained that he couldn't handle such things and didn't know how to make up for it. He felt general and genuine remorse for such a statement which you promitly blew up and out of the water. If I bent out of shape of every little thing said about a white person then I would just be fucked out of friends. Now wouldn't I?

In our culture I have no real chances against a person like yourself and some of the stuff I have heard about white people is just untrue. That we're all fucking crazy and bent out of touch and that white people never get mad and how the differences between white and black go on and on. It hurts that aI must be compared to you but do I complain? No, because I can't. And this harmless and unthought of before spoken statement has caused you to be upset. yet you never said a word. That is what upsets me the most.

You never open up to him and he sat there almost crying before me in class because he felt bad and here you hold malice still in your heart! How can you? How can you blame him for something he didn't mean. I hate to say this but no one really looks at you for the color for your skin, you have bent the lines and no one holds such gneralized thoughts about you. You're kind, sweet, smart, and silent for the most part which must be odd yet it wasn't meant to affend but express and reflect what someone like him and myself have seen in our life. For the most part it does tend that the groups that are loud are black. It's not a bad thing, its JUST A THING. It isn't a thing that can be helped, but its just a cultual thing. Not that its a BAD THING. You look at it as a bad thing but generally in what I have experienced black people are the first to be outspoken, loud, and very open and friendly. Being loud can be friendly or it can be mean and it is a mixture of both that me and him have seen.

But I don't think you can see this and will only feel hurt by this because since you are of a different race then me. And I am just an ignorant racist white person to everyone else.

Please, call me.

I'll give you the phone number and all.

1 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

[19 Jan 2005|08:36pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]


Zombie kitten, this music video is the BEST! They just used classical music in the begining of their song and they are hot as hell. Oh my, I think you now have me totally hooked on Korean bands.

.....I need more!!!

ok, I just wanted to do that cause I feel better a bit now and I wanna do a survey in a few once I finish this music video and dling shiz's Laruku stuff.

eee, I love when "yousendit" works for me! <33

Now how to find the music video once it's dl into my computer...I have no idea 0_0 XD

1 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Bah [19 Jan 2005|06:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I didn't make it. I know I didn't and I don't really see a point in being in school anymore because I knew she picked people because of singing and not cause they can act and that can't make a production. Oh well...

Impale me on a pike of theatre talent. Really, honestly....come on.

This isn't what I need to feel any good or any horrible about myself. Now I wont get into thespians and I'll feel too bad to go and try out for anything also. And my dreams of going to acting school is being crushed on the rocks when people

"oh, well some people just can't sing."

....-_-; -Cries- you don't get it! All I've ever wanted was just tos ign and dance and etertain people! i don't wanna be inthe movies! I'm not pretty enough for that. I could NEVER make, don't they see that? And if you can't make a school musical what makes me think I can get on broadway? I wanna sign, I wanna etertain people with my voice.

God, I feel like shit.

I came home early because I was so embaressed and cried for about a half an hour straight because I felt so bad. And no one sees this? If I don't have acting, I have nothing. The only thing I have is the stage and it's the only thing that makes me go to school. And fashion? Everyone is conviencing me not to do it but this guy in my piano class Joe! And I don't really know him! Now acting school is out. I think I'm gonna drop out. It be for the best.

2 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

For application [18 Jan 2005|01:37pm]
Go join heyx3 and be cool like me!
5 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Join! XD [17 Jan 2005|05:45pm]

Go join, it's on greatestjournal and is a great community!

Now I am off to take pictures of me in my cool new ear wamrers and be silly like a swedish madien and study <3 need to find my song for footloose tomorrow and practice!

Oh and this made me happy and so did Hot gimmick 4!!! EEEEE!!

gackt quiz, y0Collapse )
11 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Haha [17 Jan 2005|01:38pm]
Demonic Kyo07: I wanna make a movie too
Demonic Kyo07: yet sadly I don't have an uber sexy b/f to make a movie of him in the shower. -le sigh-
AnoShinri: poor you XP
Demonic Kyo07: I KNOW!
AnoShinri: *tear for Katie*
Demonic Kyo07: aw, thank you!

Just for you xpunk_hajix you and your sexy b/f and self! XDD I put part of this up in my aim profile. cause it was too good to say no. XD.

Oh and my sister and her b/f got a new puppy! I am gonna post pictures of it when I'm home from the mall today. He was 350$!! For a mutt! Oh and footloose try outs tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHochkfehfcndhoicyhwdo!~!!!!!! Soooooo scared!!!!! XD.
funeral on Sunday Bloody

New songs... [16 Jan 2005|03:01pm]
I remember you had a pretty face.
Features so easy to break
And I thought in cruel rememberence
That you were the flower I wanted to crushed.

So I kissed you.
It was so easy to make you believe
It was like pulling a gun to your head
As you kept playing this uncapable music to play.

Like the late afternoon sun we laid
Caressing as I kept this vile acid deep inside me
Eating away
Eating away
And I thought again
That you were the toy I most wanted to break

It was like a silent killer creeping up
I touched your hair
And whispered for you to never be afraid
That this was the proof of my mortality.

Looking at you
Broken doll of porecalin brains
The thick soup I want to consume
And I left it to the roses to watch for my silent secrets.

Like the late afternoon sun we laid
Caressing as I kept this vile acid deep inside me
Eating away
Eating away
And I thought again
That you were the toy I most wanted to break.

I thought I had locked you away
Playing with the strands I had stolen as the proof
This was my proof, of ever lasting mortality
Couldn't you see?

But I guess not when you're eyes are burried ten feet

Like the late afternoon sun we laid
caressing as I kept this vile acid deep inside me
Eating away
Eating away
And I thought again
That you were the toy I most wanted to break.
funeral on Sunday Bloody

Thank Lord [15 Jan 2005|10:31pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

It's baccckkKK!K!kk!K!!!!

2 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Pics [13 Jan 2005|10:34pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Pictures! Yea...that's all I got. XD.

And there were wings and stars in her eyesCollapse )
2 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Survey [13 Jan 2005|12:02am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Hehe, I always wanted to do this survey and now I get how to do it! [Omg it took like two days to understand how to get it XD] This is the band survey featuring Morning Musume XD.

Touch my heart!Collapse )

funeral on Sunday Bloody

Katsucon? [12 Jan 2005|05:21pm]
[ mood | dead ]

I hope I can go to Katsucon as an early birthday gift and a release from this whole breaking up with Jose thing....=/ yea we broke up. And I didn't cry which is suprising but I beat my bed up to Dir en grey and talked to Julie who began to hit on me and tried to say we should date once again.

I just wanna see PLC, I don't care how fangirlish that sounds, I wanna see some Seek action. Maybe I can pull some cosplay together and do Ganguro for kicks, my Freya cosplay, and maybe something else. I only need a few things for all of it. Well..outtie 5000.

Xen, I'll tell you if i can go by tonight or tomorrow, I swear. I just need the 'rent to get together and "talk it out" sionce I'll be gone a whole weekend withoutg thema nd they all of a sudden care.

....this song makes me feel like I can fly, lol.

4 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Electronic dreams [10 Jan 2005|10:44pm]
[ mood | dreaming ]

I want to further my piano learning outside of piano 1 to learn how to play a keyboard and make cool sounding music. Yes, I will learn how to make the hardcore sounds like Schwarz Stein. I swear I will! *.*.

...God, I'm such a dreamer after I have such a mental break down....I need to learn how to stop it.

Still need to find a song to sing at Footloose auditions. Maybe the theme song from lain. It's in english and really pretty.

2 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Days... [10 Jan 2005|07:20pm]
[ mood | losing emotions ]

I am talking to ben and I must admit, it's making me seeing some stuff. Like when I went to see white noise with Sarah Saturday she told me that I wasn't allowed to tell Julie we were hanging out or anything like that. That is Julie found out she'd be pissed and sarah didn't want that. This is the reason why I wanna get out of Maryland. I'm sick of the control that people take over my life and how Julie controls who's friend with me, why I am not friends with anyone in NC anymore because they are all afraid of her. And I'm sick of the control that people have on me. Julie, elmer, Dustin all of them have taken me and used me and fucked beat me against the steps! Then after wards keep their hold on me.

And Jose....he use to be always on me and at first I disliked it because it was too much and now we never talk, never see each other and he ignores me for Danny and fucking noodles!?! I can't stand it. I can't being alone in such a state. I just wanna be loved.

And I like susan but I can't think about that because of the people she dated would kill me for it, and I'm not open about me being bisexual so I am not into people at school knowing and she is very open about it and I don't know how that would work out for us. Because I hate when people say shit. People are just plain rude and I know what they can do. God, I can't wait to get out of this state. And my mom's mad at me because we can't get along and that's my fault. Which it isn't! And I need her to hear this paper for chemistry so I can do it right and it's due Thursday and I have conditioning tomorrow and weds. So it'll be hard to do anything and I need to make up a Spanish test, get ready for footloose and make sure I don't fail chemistry so I wont get my ass in trouble.

Also!! I think Ben and Jose have a class together and ben's going to go up to him and tell him how much of a great guy he is for having me......-_- -dies- I don't want him to do that! Why? When Jose doesn't even like me? Well...or so I feel....maybe that's the truth? I don't know anymore and I hate it. Maybe I should just go and jump off a cliff...pathetic ain't it? And I can't even hang out with the person I love the most. I need a new life, and a new family or crap. I just need a place to hide in.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................:D.......

Fang Zandith HN: ::bows:: Yes mistress!
Demonic Kyo07: lol. that's either really scary or extremely cute
Fang Zandith HN: XD
Fang Zandith HN: Both?
Demonic Kyo07: sure, why the hell not!
Fang Zandith HN: lol

damn you danny when I am suppose to be pissed off at you! You always make me laugh.

And My chemical romance is making me feel ok, lol I love that music video

"you've got something in your eye."

funeral on Sunday Bloody

Lolita [09 Jan 2005|05:58pm]
[ mood | rantish like mood ]


i was reading this website and I must laugh. really, that's all I can do is laugh.

It's a good website but the thing is, I think it's so...silly. I mean, I dress how I want to and when I try to look lolita I will. I don't think there is a "right or wrong" way to dress Lolita. But again, that is me. Like I don't care if Lolita gets popular in america because it's popular in Japan! You can't keep a whole subculutre to itself. One of the reasons why I wanna be a designer and I think it's cheep to say that everyone has to fall into one place. But again, I am the odd ball who thinks it hot to wear a girl scout green vest with 6 inch heels. because it's hot and new and the thing is that this site kinda goes against the bibles and everything else. Also, I don't think "Gothic Lolita" should really be credited completely to Mana. After all, he might have perfected it and made it wide stream but I don't think he did everything for the culture as it became. I think it's important to credited him but I don't think it's totally all him. I have seen pictures from the Tokyo dark castle events and I must admit, I think the lolita's there [or the majority who were lolita] really cared about anything else. Not that I don't think it's important to understand your subculture if you want to becoem a part of it. That's like people who dress odd coming up to others on the frist try and being like

"I'm dressing strange to fit into a cookie cutter world of being oddd! !! Ooo, aren't I spooky?"

I think it's good to dress in a certain subculture that you like and then make it your own. Which is why I think trying to define something like Gothic & Lolita is too hard because then western lolita's get bashed all the time. I also think Gothic should be put with Lolita...if you understand what I mean. Like the "gothic/gothic" part should be consider Lolita only because "Gothic & Lolita" is about the gothic side of lolita whihc is looking like a innocent little girl or a doll so in all actually fact then sweet lolitas are the only ones who are getting it right!! if you really want to look into it. And the whole look really is to be a french doll more then anything if we are going on what Mana has done by creating it and then people have taken it to a new extreme. You know? Because mana can go outside the 'Lolita' look in some photoshoots but they all act like he's a god. But sometimes he's more "gothic" then anything else. And that's just the plain truth. Like his new look with pants and all is more a male gothic look to me.

I hope I make sense and don't seem idiotic but I just think it's stupid to worry what lines you fit in. If it's something you believe it is Lolita then look at different examples of designers to see what you think and what it fits. Even if you don't fit the lines of 'lolita' go out with your lolita friends in your own style. That's what clothing is about. Your own style by taking it and flipping it about.

...I just want my own dandy guy is all. Lol.

funeral on Sunday Bloody

Hey... [09 Jan 2005|01:28pm]
:D is the perfect emotion icon for when you feel like crying and you don't want anyone to know.

Oh and I need to prepare a song for footlose auditions. I have nothing in mind AT ALL. I am so going to suck. I can't sing or dance. x_X;
3 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Animals! [08 Jan 2005|02:24pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

This is what I wanna cosplay as for otakon. A ganguro animal! XDD I think it be fun to walk around in those sweatsuit cow like suits. Hehe. I think I might just do it. i think dressing up ganguro would be lots of fun as I look at more pictures. It be zany! XD. But I would wear a sexy bikini top under it just so I could take pictures like that too. lol.

Watch your eyes toto!Collapse )

6 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

Pictures from today. [08 Jan 2005|12:04am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Gah, I'm a picture fiend! i told ya guys if i got a digital camera I would pimp that whore out. And I am. And I almost feel slightly bad for it, lol.

And she smiled like a queenCollapse )

Thanks for putting up with this crap guys! -Bow-

funeral on Sunday Bloody

ganguros! [07 Jan 2005|04:41pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Ok, here's the most scariest pic in the world that I have seen XD! I can't help but laugh when I see this. Ganguro's are so funny! haha...stupid girls! i hope my mommy will go shopping with me. I wanna wear my twist and my big boots and go around goth vampy style yo. I also am about to jump in the shower to take Lolita pictures and post in the penpal Lolita community. I want a pen pal! T_T.

Oh well.

Cover your eyes ladies!Collapse )

3 forget me nots ~ funeral on Sunday Bloody

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